11 Can't Miss Ways to Make Your Event Blog Suck
Posted by: Jenise Fryatt
Monday, October 24th, 2011
1 – Post Desperate Pleas for People to Register
Seriously, nothing keeps people away like desperation. If you use only one of these tips, make it this one. Readers will click away in droves.
2 – Avoid Interaction
Polls, questions, contests will only get them lingering. You don’t want that. Broad, boring statements won’t draw attention. Stick to those.
3 – NEVER Respond to Comments
This only encourages them. You want to DISCOURAGE them. Whenever they comment, they need to feel they are talking to a brick wall or a comatose person, or, more truthfully, someone who doesn’t give a *&%$.
4 – NEVER Post Anything That Doesn’t Directly Promote Your Event
Quite surprisingly, non-stop talking about how great your event is, actually achieves your goal. The more you do it, the more they will avoid your event blog. BE CAREFUL with this, however. Highlighting interesting and fun facts about your event, interspersed with non-promotional information will actually ATTRACT readers. DON’T DO THIS, if you want to ensure your blog really sucks.
5 – Always Appear As If You Are Selling Something
Some examples of this might include the use of the following phrases:
* Limited Time Offer!
* SPECIAL Just for Today!
* Don’t Miss This One!
6 – Don’t Post Pictures
Pictures add interest and get their attention. Be inconspicuous. A blog with nothing but text is like a Thanksgiving dinner. A reader will have to click away or risk damaging her keyboard when her face topples onto it.
7 – Write Long Posts
Here’s a tip to remember: Blog readers are scanners. They will quickly click off of things that require a lot of concentration. If they go to your event blog and see 2,000+ words of text, only the truly brave will continue.
8 – Include LOTS of Jargon
Don’t make it easy for them! Simple words that anyone can understand defeats your purpose. Weed out the faint of heart by including gobs of jargon – any kind. If you can’t think of anything appropriate, standard business jargon will do – ei “Particularly with respect to leveraging ultimate outcomes” etc.
9 – Be Cute With Your Headlines
This is where you can really get creative. Inside jokes, puns, labels, the more inscrutable the better. Remember, the objective is to be inconspicuous and/or not taken seriously. For examples, check this out!
10 – Make Sure all Paragraphs Are At Least 8 Sentences Long
This goes back to the fact that blog readers are scanners. Short 3 to 4 sentence paragraphs, subheadings and interspersed photos only help to keep their interest. A substantial half-page paragraph will shoo them away like flies.
11 – DON’T Edit
Finally, write with abandon and NEVER edit. Even the most determined readers will be put off by typos, bad grammer, miss-spelling and so on. If nothing else you will convince them that you are NOT serious and that your event will likewise be filled with mistakes.
(Photo by Giselle Fryatt)
Posted with the permission of Jenise Fryatt. Originally posted @ http://icon-presentations.com/blog/bid/38093/11-Sure-Fire-Ways-to-Make-Your-Event-Blog-Suck