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Jenise Fryatt

11 Can't Miss Ways to Make Your Event Blog Suck
Posted by: Jenise Fryatt
Monday, October 24th, 2011

Are you looking for ways to ensure that no one reads your event blog?  If you are working on a strategy for keeping people away from your event, the following tips may help you with your goal.

1 – Post Desperate Pleas for People to Register

Seriously, nothing keeps people away like desperation.  If you use only one of these tips, make it this one. Readers will click away in droves.

2 – Avoid Interaction

Polls, questions, contests will only get them lingering.  You don’t want that. Broad, boring statements won’t draw attention.  Stick to those.

3 – NEVER Respond to Comments

This only encourages them.  You want to DISCOURAGE them.  Whenever they comment, they need to feel they are talking to a brick wall or a comatose person, or, more truthfully, someone who doesn’t give a *&%$.

4 – NEVER Post Anything That Doesn’t Directly Promote Your Event

Quite surprisingly, non-stop talking about how great your event is, actually achieves your goal.  The more you do it, the more they will avoid your event blog. BE CAREFUL with this, however.  Highlighting interesting and fun facts about your event, interspersed with non-promotional information will actually ATTRACT readers.  DON’T DO THIS, if you want to ensure your blog really sucks.

5 – Always Appear As If You Are Selling Something

Some examples of this might include the use of the following phrases:

* Limited Time Offer!

* SPECIAL Just for Today!

* Don’t Miss This One!

6 – Don’t Post Pictures

Pictures add interest and get their attention.  Be inconspicuous.  A blog with nothing but text is like a Thanksgiving dinner. A reader will have to click away or risk damaging her keyboard when her face topples onto it.

7 – Write Long Posts

Here’s a tip to remember: Blog readers are scanners.  They will quickly click off of things that require a lot of concentration.   If they go to your event blog and see 2,000+ words of text, only the truly brave will continue.

8 – Include LOTS of Jargon

Don’t make it easy for them!  Simple words that anyone can understand defeats your purpose. Weed out the faint of heart by including gobs of jargon – any kind.  If you can’t think of anything appropriate, standard business jargon will do – ei “Particularly with respect to leveraging ultimate outcomes” etc.

9 – Be Cute With Your Headlines

This is where you can really get creative.  Inside jokes, puns, labels, the more inscrutable the better.  Remember, the objective is to be inconspicuous and/or not taken seriously. For examples, check this out!

10 – Make Sure all Paragraphs Are At Least 8 Sentences Long

This goes back to the fact that blog readers are scanners.  Short 3 to 4 sentence paragraphs, subheadings and interspersed photos only help to keep their interest.  A substantial half-page paragraph will shoo them away like flies.

11 – DON’T Edit

Finally, write with abandon and NEVER edit.  Even the most determined readers will be put off by typos, bad grammer, miss-spelling and so on.  If nothing else you will convince them that you are NOT serious and that your event will likewise be filled with mistakes.

(Photo by Giselle Fryatt)

Posted with the permission of Jenise Fryatt. Originally posted @

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2 Responses to this article

Bob Hamm October 31, 2011

Jenise, great post. Often I see the 10 must do’s, nice to see the 11 don’ts. Like your specific that can assist us all in blogs as well as other e-generated communications.

Jenise Fryatt October 31, 2011

Thanks so much Bob! I’m so glad you found it useful. There’s a lot of great information out there taking the form of bad blog posts. A few small adjustments can really make a difference.

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